People have asked me lately how my blog writing is going, and, “have you started a book?” My answer has generally been that I’m in a bit of a pause… a sort of unplanned writing break which has no predetermined length (by me), and will likely contain spurts of writing within. I’ve been asking God a lot about the next steps of my story, including the next steps of writing my grandparents’ stories. Friends are praying with me about this, and I know He will lead…
This week, however, I’ve been thinking about characters in good stories. Like me, have you ever wished you were a character in a favorite story? I remember as a young girl wishing I was the real-life version of the girl in one of my picture books. This girl had found a sick little duck. She put a soft blanket in her wagon and hauled the duck home where her mother helped her take care of it and nurse it back to health – when of course she brought the duck back to the wild and freed it. I remember earnestly looking around my land-locked neighborhood for any sick little duck that may need me. Surprisingly, none were found.
I then thought about the popular Cinderella fairy tale. What little girl hasn’t at some point in her childhood dreamed of being a real life Cinderella? (I’m sure there are a few who haven’t, but I wasn’t one of those few.) Dreamed of being discovered by a prince who would rescue her from her misery? A prince who would relieve her from a life where she’s taken for granted and not considered anyone special? A kind, handsome prince who wants to be with her so much that he would search an entire kingdom to find and marry her?
Well, I’m wondering this week how often, with a happy story or movie ending, do I quickly forget about the stress or strife during the story? For example, I have never dwelled for long on the fact that Cinderella was emotionally, if not physically, abused by her stepmother or stepsisters. All the troubles she encountered, all the dull, sad moments of the story I have quickly and virtually forgotten with the stunningly beautiful ending. The ugly parts of the story were there to make the ending soar with joyful emotion. But who dwells on them once the story has ended - once the beautiful ending is known?
Did I ever once think about the duck poop the little girl must have encountered? Or the lost playtime as she cared for the duck? No, what I remember is the victory she gave the duck, by helping him back to health and setting him free. The selfless care she gave him looked like complete fun and passion, on the pages of this book which I was sure would have a happy ending.
Which brings me to the point I’ve been thinking about: A great story, while in the midst of it, may feel dull, sad, disconnected, or even wrong, to the protagonist who trusts there will be a happy ending, but feels far from it.
This week, about an hour into some spur of the moment babysitting for a friend, I discovered that the three-year old had a case of the “runs.” I immediately found that I did not particularly like this storyline of my day. While I felt badly for the ill child and sought to reassure her and care for her lovingly, I was also feeling badly for me, and was not particularly pleased with my “calling” for that evening, especially after a tiring day at the office. It did not feel exciting, like the story I want to be part of. I was disappointed, not only in the un-pleasantries of the evening, but in my responding attitude...
I sensed God’s Spirit gently reminding me, “Annie, it will not always be fun. Did you remember to count the cost of not living for yourself when you told me you wanted your life to be a better story? And remember, just because it’s not fun right now, this does not mean you’ve stepped out of the story we are writing together.”
But oh how I love the fun times, God! Yet not more than You… I do want to bring glory to you through my life. I do want a beautiful ending.
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