Am I more impressed--

By my sin, than by the value of my salvation?

By the reality of evil, than by the ultimate, conquering power of good?

By my lack of direction, than by the immediate steps in front of me?

By the scarcity of time, than by the time I have right now?

By my prayers waiting for answers, than by the multitude of answers received?

By my lack of skills, than by my talents and abilities?

By the weight of uncompleted tasks, than by the satisfaction of tasks completed?

By what I don’t have, than by all I do have?

By my sin, than by the value of my salvation?

 

 

Love me and Jesus?

Perhaps there is no neutral ground.  As people get to know me they will either love me and love Jesus who is in me, or they will begin to despise me and Jesus.  If they are attracted to me they are consciously or sub-consciously attracted to the Jesus in me, for one cannot be separated from the other.  But if they are not being drawn to Christ, the more they get to know me, the more I will begin to repel them, simply by the aroma of Jesus in me.  (2 Cor. 2:16)

Which way things are headed will be most evident during difficult or cranky times, and can be almost undecipherable during glorious and lovely times.  Even relaters headed toward despising can have the ability to act lovingly if I do something wrong, for in that moment they can feel better about themselves in the presence of my fault.  But when the light of truth exposes their own wrongdoing, look out – they will become angry, and will likely lash out.

In terms of romantic attraction and love, when a man encounters me, there can be genuine attraction, but that attraction may be incapable, if not unwilling, to truly know and love me.  He doesn’t need to know me – what he sees on the surface is good enough – why mess with intimacy or authentic love?

I’ve learned there is a reason to walk away from me, beyond finding flaws with my personality, behaviors and appearance, even though such flaws are there.  One can leave me – physically and/or emotionally – because one has an issue with God.

Even with a generous amount of mutual connection going on, there is a bigger decision that must ultimately be made as you get to know me: will you love me and Jesus?

Love Is

Some friends and I are currently discussing the Bob Goff book Love Does. The title – while appropriate for this book – has caused me to ask: Is love best described as an action? While love in action is powerful, I’m thinking that first and foremost: Love Is. Love Is…a state of being. It is a vulnerable state. It is a circumcised heart.

Reading in Jeremiah this week, I paused at a passage about uncircumcised hearts (Jer. 9:25,26) and found myself thinking about circumcision. I’m sure biblical scholars have written much about this, but the question nagged at my mind: Why did God require the Israelite men of the Old Testament to have a surgical procedure – on their male sex organ - likely the most sensitive, vulnerable and private part of a man’s body? And then: why does God talk to Jeremiah about uncircumcised hearts? He talks about a circumcision in body but not in spirit (heart).

A likely characteristic of a circumcised heart came to me today as I considered, once again, how the desire for romantic love can lead to heartache. It’s really, really tempting, especially after heartbreak, to want to protect one’s self from the possibility of future heartbreak. Yet therein is the conflict.

If one protects – closes or puts up a wall around one’s heart – the authentic kind of love one longs for cannot be attained. You have to be willing to be vulnerable…to let your heart go under the knife, so to speak, and have its covering removed. One must allow the authentic heart to be known. (Do you ensure appropriate boundaries and a healthy amount of self protection? Absolutely. But can you insist on a guarantee against having your heart broken again? You cannot.)

“Who does this kind of love?” I cry! Certainly most men I’ve encountered – while eager to date, perhaps – do not seem willing, and certainly not eager, for any such openness of heart. I imagine many married couples I know do not share this openness of heart.

Yet, I am becoming convinced that the truest definition of love is a state of being. Love Is, is the brand of love I want to offer – to a romantic relationship – and to this world. Love Is, is vulnerable. It feels. (But I’m so afraid of feeling, Lord…)

God has shown me that I can risk this. He’s got my back – incredibly and miraculously, if necessary. I am safe. I am free to love.

Love does, for sure, but primarily: Love Is.