The tag attraction

This is a current day Annie story…

For the past six months or so I’ve been intrigued by little ones and their attraction to tags. Well, specifically, two grandson’s attraction to tags... It was around the same time, that I noticed both my 9-month-old grandson and my 2-1/2-year-old grandson (approximate ages at that time) had a thing about tags. When the older grandson was staying here one night, and his pack-n-play was in my bedroom, his mom and dad told me that if he wakes up during the night, “simply help him find the tag on his blanket,” and, “that’s usually all he needs.” Well, I’m not one to argue with simplicity, especially when it concerns my interrupted sleep, so I filed that info safely away for the night. Sure enough, when my toddler started squirming and crying out a bit during the night, I found the blanket, then the tag on it, handed the tag to my grandson, and he was back in dreamland before I was back in bed. I marveled for about 10 seconds – then slept ‘til morning.

It wasn’t long after, or perhaps even just before this, that I was at my other grandson’s house doing a little babysitting. My daughter-in-law was giving me bedtime directions before she and my son went on a date. She told me to hand my 9-month-old guy the little tag on his stuffed Dalmatian when I laid him in the crib. I looked at the tag she was showing me. It was teeny tiny. The stuffed Dalmatian itself is all of six inches, and this stamp-sized tag that my grandson was going to want was about half an inch long. But hey… again…I’m not one to argue with what makes/keeps these little ones happy, so if he wants that little slip of fabric handed to him – he’s got it. And sure enough, at bedtime he wanted it, and he fell asleep clutching it.

It was all I could do to not say to these little guys: “Sweetie, you’ve got a whole, super soft blanket to cuddle with, why don’t you grab onto that? Forget the ol’ tag!” And, “My little Snookums, (what grandmas say…) your Dalmatian is so soft and cuddly, why don’t you just snuggle with him and forget about the ragged ribbon peeking out of the seam?” But of course I didn’t... And of course I was grateful for the tags, and their calming charm.

I’ve been thinking about this off and on ever since… My grandsons’ obsession with tags has caused me to reflect on the conflict between my mortal self and my eternal self. I mean there are times when I’m so filled with the Spirit of God that I feel I am soaring and it feels so awesome, and so – right. And then after a time of this, I suddenly need to put air in the car’s tires, or take the garbage out, or trudge through another day of humanity. This all, then, feels so mundane and so…in conflict with my soaring self. It can feel like I’m living in two different worlds.

That’s when the tag started to make sense… The tag is my humanness. It’s what I am still at times attracted to here, and still at times bound to here, despite being surrounded by a lovely large soft blanket of heavenly things. The boring, ugly, sometimes scratchy tag is still the place I live out my days. I can’t escape it – and, there’s some comfort and care for myself in remembering, and not fighting this too much.

The other day this really clicked for me. I came home tired. As I stood in the dining room I thought about all the good things that I could/should do. And then I realized I simply wanted to plop into a cozy chair and watch a good movie. And is that okay? It’s not like I’ve never done this before, yet I did long to have some time with my God, also. So…I asked God if he wanted to watch an old movie with me. Some may think this is sacrilegious. I would tell them that they don’t know about my (many people’s) relationship with God. So I made some popcorn, settled into the leather recliner, and God and I watched A Few Good Men.

It was about the time that Jack Nicolson thundered, “You can’t handle the truth!” when I realized what was going on here. I was holding onto the tag. I’m a spiritual and physical being – and, my physical being wanted some ordinary ol' downtime. It’s not only okay to live in this physical world (with prayer and care), but it’s our created mode of entry into the spiritual world, as well… Holding onto the tag can be comforting while we are here on this earth. I will not be ashamed to clutch it, before/with God, and even enjoy it, ordinary as it is. And it helps me draw near the awesomeness that I will one day boldly access, tag-free.