Trusting isn't passive

For much of 2010 the recurring question I felt God asking me was: “What do you want?” As I’ve answered Him more and more about this, it seems that particular question has faded, as answered questions often do. But there’s a new question that I now seem to be faced with, and fairly often: “Do you trust me?”

As I wrestled with the specifics of what I would like the story of my life to be about, it seemed I was in an active role: the activity of figuring out what I want. I took that action seriously. It seemed the ball was in my court. It seemed God was waiting, even as He was actively helping me figure out the answer to that question.

Now my answer has taken form and I’ve been speaking with God about it. And now I’ve noticed things have turned a bit… The focus has gone from my action, to God’s action. Or should I say, to God’s seeming inaction.

Now, I’m not necessarily expecting Him to drop circumstances and action from heaven. But I kind of am, for He can do anything that pleases Him. And, I wouldn’t mind at all if a curtain was pulled back revealing a whole new path that was exactly in sync with what He and I have been discussing. Yet, I realize I’m in a partnership with my God. I’m to act, for sure, but in His timing, and as He leads and opens doors.

Right now I’m being asked to do something that is at the core of what I believe: trust Him. Not fret. Not pull all-nighters (like I can even do them anymore) to make my destiny happen according to my plan. Not stress endlessly about how this may play out, or about “what if it doesn’t play out?” But, rather: trust Him.

God wants me to trust and deserves my trust. As I talk with Him each day, and level with Him about what I’m struggling with, the Holy Spirit encourages me and reminds me of the many reasons to trust Him. Reasons threaded all through the Bible…reasons found in my grandparents’ stories…and reasons from my own life’s history.

I don’t know if what I want will come to be in the way I think it might in this life. But I do think it will come to be. My main activity regarding this right now, however, is to trust Him. It can sound and feel so passive, but believe me when I say it’s not.